THE lyrics to Jenny on the Block need to be rewritten, and, because Jennifer Lopez spends more time in wedding gowns than on street corners nowadays, I think Jenny in the frock is more appropriate.
This week it was confirmed that Lopez has married for the third time. No, not to the other half of the Bennifer brand and her former finance Ben Affleck — they broke up five months ago. Latin music singer Marc Anthony has become husband number three and reportedly the two are expecting a bub. And unless you are a dedicated follower of the weekly gossip rags you will have no idea the two were even dating. (Fret not, Anthony’s former wife of four years, Dayanara Torres, a former Miss Universe with whom he has fathered two children and from whom he was granted a quickie divorce less than a week before his nuptials to J-Lo, probably didn’t know either.) Lopez invited two fashion editors I know from UK newspapers to her wedding to Chris Judd in Miami in 2001.
Since neither had ever met the bride or groom we assumed they were invited because Valentino had designed her gown, and J-Lo wanted to optimise the designer’s opportunity for coverage of the dress. How considerate, we thought.
But the big wedding and the Valentino gown did nothing for the marriage and Lopez filed for divorce from Judd, citing irreconcilable differences, after nine months of marriage. The union failed to beat the duration of her first marriage to Cuban waiter Ojani Noa, in February 1997, which lasted 13 months.
She almost made it to the altar with Affleck in September 2003, but the couple called the wedding off at the last minute, blaming the postponement on the media frenzy their planned nuptials had created, which I thought was strange coming from a woman who had formerly invited journalists she had never met to another of her weddings.
It’s clear to me that J-Lo has the same problem choosing husbands as I have choosing christian louboutin shoes. I have a wardrobe full of expensive christian louboutin sale,louboutin,christian shoes mistakes and it looks like Lopez is heading for a closet full of costly ex-husbands.
But salvation is at hand because I have recently discovered there are some simple rules, which if followed, can help avoid, or at least minimise errors of judgment. With Ladbrokes on-line betting offering 10-1 that J-Lo marries more than eight times — beating Elizabeth Taylor — and J-Lo’s settlement with Judd rumoured to have cost her US$15 million, I think it’s time to share my christian louboutin shoes law.
CHOOSE carefully.
DO not choose while drunk. I have tried both, and while dumb luck saved me in the husband stakes, the odds of success were stacked against me. Beer goggles can be just as effective in blurring reality when it comes to christian louboutin boots, both in terms of comfort and style.
DO not buy anything flashy. Christian louboutin (and husbands) should be more than just eye candy and while sexy stilettos look great, in real life there are stairs, rain and bunions. The same rules can be applied to husbands. Even if you are J-Lo you don’t want one who will only travel in limos because times may get tough, you may need to catch a cab and like Jimmy Choos, pretty-boys don’t travel coach.
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